Family Therapy Podcast
Two cousins get together to discuss recent events & hot topics with insight from their generational differences and outlook on today's society & culture. Warren and Erica offer commentary on entertainment and music industry news. This podcast welcomes listeners a peak into their unique upbringing with hilarious stories and general life survival guides.
Family Therapy Podcast
Episode 7: What Now, Erica? | Hope
In today’s episode of 'What Now' Erica explains how feeling loss of all hope is only a temporary battle. She gives advice when you feel you had enough with life and feel like giving up is the easiest option to take.
Absence of hope can lead to internal emotional storms, but Erica reminds listeners that the storm is only the beginning, then the circumstance around you begin to make sense with a fresher perspective.
Get to know a little more about Warren and Erica as they share some of their coping mechanisms they employ when the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't seem too bright to chase.
hello. So today we're going to be talking about hope, and what I want to name this episode is life after the storm, a space where we talk about what it means to survive, to feel broken and to find light again. So, everyone, this is what Now, erica, and if you're listening today, I want you to know that you are not alone. This is for those who feel tired, overwhelmed and still showing up, regardless of how they feel, and today we're going to talk about what it feels like to have nothing left and how hope still finds its way through. So I just want to, you know, say hey, warren, hey erica, welcome well, thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, that was, that was good. I like that intro. Yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, good job, that was great so with af?
Speaker 1:with that being said, um, I just want to share a story, or you can go first. Has there ever been a moment when you felt like you've just had enough, like you're just mentally, emotionally or financially drained? Have you gone through that before?
Speaker 2:I have. I've been emotionally drained a couple times in my life, Financially drained, for sure, I'm financially drained right now actually. But yeah, I've definitely felt that you know to be abandoned of all hope, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and same here. It's like I feel like it comes in stages as I grow, as my kids. You know we go through these different chapters in our life and I do. I feel emotionally drained, just mentally, physical, financially, just everything. Because as my kids age, you know they say it gets easier, which I disagree because it costs more money. So it's like you know, it just costs more money. So, it's like financially draining.
Speaker 2:Teenagers are expensive, they are, they say.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they don't want, you know, cheap things.
Speaker 2:I guess they're going to have designer clothes. Yeah, designer, the Louis V's.
Speaker 1:And yeah, all these different things, right, and just trying to work and maintain a life of being a mother, a colleague, a friend, a sister, a girlfriend, all these different things it can be overwhelming and just you know, so it's.
Speaker 2:I do feel like that just in different stages of my life yeah, I think it's always um gonna be different in in every stage and I think it doesn't uh ever just clear up. I think every, every chapter in our life we're're going to go through some sort of like um trial where we're going to be tested on certain things right If we can handle it or if we can get out of it and handle that kind of stress, external stress, that life gives us.
Speaker 1:that life is Exactly, yeah, and it's just like all the different emotions that come with it too is just can be draining. You know feeling anxious or worrying when you know your kids are out and you know driving vehicles and all these different things, and it's just like how do, when you're dealing, when, when you're feeling that type of way, when you feel like you've lost, you know just everything's just not working out, what emotions do do you feel that you have?
Speaker 2:um, I think I go through a lot. I think I go through like some sort of a roller coaster. I can feel sad, I could feel mad, and I could feel mad either at the world or at myself, depending on the circumstance. Um, I could feel sad, you know. I just uh, just those feelings of defeat, you know just what, questioning myself and questioning what am I doing, like right now, like what led me to this particular spot, what did I do? Or what? You know what's?
Speaker 1:what can you do better?
Speaker 2:right, exactly, yeah, but I think I don't get. I don't get to like the um, the constructive part, to like wait, like like later on. First I go through the whole emotions, like I get mad and I take it out. I take it out on people or I'll take it out on myself, you know and then I'll begin to like, once I cry it out or not cry it out, but I get that anger out, yeah, once I have that tantrum, I guess, then I I begin to think like reconstructively, like you were saying what can I do better next time?
Speaker 1:Right, just feeling the emotion is important, I think, especially when you're feeling that, just like your world is just and I think it's important to feel, and I think it's perfectly normal to feel mad, to feel sad.
Speaker 2:If you're feeling mad and sad, I like to tell people, or when they confide in me and like they're feeling sad or they're feeling mad sometimes. I don't know if this is messed up or anything, but what I I like to say sometimes is well, at least you're feeling sad. That means everything's working, that means you're not like depressed, you're just in a temporary emotional state right now, which is totally fine. You're human.
Speaker 2:It's something that you have to just get out yeah, and you go through go through the go through the anger, go, go through, but do it safely, you know. But that's one of the things in life. You know, you're tested. How you handle these things is everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's most important.
Speaker 2:It could either get you deeper.
Speaker 1:Yes, so I mean, I feel the same I go through, I feel. Lately I've been feeling really exhausted, just exhausted with I feel like so much is going on in my life, you know and I'm just like currently, right now, yeah yeah, and it's just like sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and I'm like, oh my god, like what?
Speaker 1:I didn't imagine my life to feel like this at this age. You know I was like. You know my kids are gonna be older. You know my kids are going to be older. You know I'm still somewhat young enough to enjoy life. You know I'm entering a new chapter, but I have this fear and this worry and it's just like anxiety and it's like why. You know, why am I feeling this way? And just trying to understand it, and I guess coping and getting through it is just like what keeps me moving is, I know there's going to be light at the end of the tunnel, right, I know that this is temporary and I feel like I may be overthinking the situations too, Because I have, you know, a pretty decent life. I just I don't know what it is. It's weird.
Speaker 2:It's a weird thing, a weird place to be right now in my life so have you done any kind of work to like get down to why you're feeling anxiety and feeling worry?
Speaker 1:because you are in a good place yeah, well, I, I, I've been thinking about it a lot, like I said I just been doing, just trying to take a step back and reevaluating my life and just trying to live in the moment and just not feeling like everything's falling apart because my kids are growing and they don't need me anymore. You know, what keeps me is just that I've raised them well enough, I hope, to make the right decisions and just pray that they continue on that path.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and just I keep moving forward, and now it's just like focusing on myself and what goals I have to, just you know, break through this little hump. That a feeling of feeling, the feelings I feel, yes.
Speaker 2:And I think it's a rite of passage for somebody your age, for somebody in their 40s, especially a mother, a parent, because you are so used to being that mother figure, now that your kids are self-sufficient and doing things on their own and they can, and you've done that part already, like you just said, like, uh, you've raised them enough to be self-sufficient people, good citizens, and they know right from wrong and they do they don't do stupid stuff.
Speaker 2:You know all crazy right like other kids do their age, um, but I think it's an uncanny feeling. It's it's scary for change and I think that's kind of what's giving you like some anxiety, like, oh my god, like you used to be there in that motherly way, but now you don't really have to be. It's you're not really used to that like change is scary right.
Speaker 1:Change is scary right, and just because of that, I mean, it's life right and because of that, it's just like, erica, is your world really, you know, falling apart, you know? Um, I think it's more so to what. What just popped in my mind is just like having to work a full-time shift, having to come home and clean, having to make dinner.
Speaker 2:And I don't know if that's, I feel like that's overwhelming for some reason. So hearing what you're telling me kind of going back to what I was saying earlier like it's kind of an uncanny feeling that you're going through, having this change, this subtle change, coming into your life, having this change, this subtle change coming into your life Because in a couple years it's just going to be you and just you, no kids around.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And if you think this feels weird now, how do you think it's going to feel then when it's like, oh my God, my kids don't need me at all anymore. What are you going to do? So that's going to be another level of anxiety there, but you know what's coming, so you can kind of do like some preventative meditation, work or something to get you into that mindset where you got to be. But here's one more thing though um, that feeling of being worried I'm having anxiety is your natural body responding to like it's in survival mode. It doesn't really know what it's supposed to do right now. So that's what's kicking in your anxiety.
Speaker 1:And just coming out of another thing is like coming out of survival mode, because ever since I was younger, I've always been in that mode, survival mode.
Speaker 1:And having kids is just like, I think, added to it, where it's just like, you know, I'm the mother, I have to protect them, I have to do all these different things and I'm just the person that is going to take care of everybody different things and I'm just the person that is going to take care of everybody and you know, it's like I, I'm just I.
Speaker 1:I feel like I have to take care of everybody, you know, and, um, learning what I want to do with this next chapter of my life, too, is just like learn how to get out of survival mode, because it's like one small inconvenience I'm already building walls, building plans in my head and like, okay, I have a plan A, plan B, and it's just like I don't have time to just take a deep breath and breathe Because I'm always like, like I said, just in that survival mode and it makes me, it triggers anxiety, based off of all the resources that we currently have, and just you know listening to other podcasts and reading books and speaking to others that you know a lot of people come to me, you know, just for advice sometimes, and I'm just like I'm broken too. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:I was just going to ask you if you had any money?
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly yeah, but it's just like I feel, like what it's taught me, the survival mode, the feeling, just losing hope in situations, and you know feeling, I keep saying feeling, you know feeling, I keep saying feeling. But what it's taught me is that, like anything is possible, just to. Let's see here. I just need to gather my thoughts.
Speaker 2:Anything is possible. Just know that you are capable of handling it.
Speaker 1:Right, just to keep moving.
Speaker 2:I think we get anxiety because we're like how am I going to get through this? How am I going to, how am I going to get through this? How am I gonna, how am I gonna get through this? You know, like like um, when you move to a different city. Back to my example, like when I moved here, I just up and moved up, it was just one decision, like quick, it was no planning and it was exciting. So I got here and then, once I got here, I was like a little bit scared, anxiety, alone, right homesick, like I'm here in the city, I don't even know, I've never. And then, once I got here, I was like a little bit scared, anxiety, alone, right Homesick, like I'm here in the city, I don't even know, I've never been here, I've been here once. But I felt homesick, scared, anxiety, you know. But that's because, like I'm in the city, there's opportunity everywhere you can take, you are fine, right.
Speaker 1:And you find a way. You'll find a way, you'll find a way. Yeah right, exactly right. And so, with that being said, it's just like okay, what, what has it taught you has? How do you feel, like, as you go through these, when you lose hope, like, how do you feel now?
Speaker 2:like I think I handle it a lot better now yeah just with what I was just telling you. You know, like everything's temporary Right, Like just know that you can fix this. The reason why you're feeling anxiety is because something that you are putting on yourself, whether it's you being scared or you feeling weak or feeling not enough, whatever it may be, whether it's in a relationship or work or life, school, whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's just a mixture of like everything. I think it's just like yeah, just to several different little things, and it's just like they build up and I'm just like, okay, you know I'm going to throw on the towel. And then I remember like, okay, this is why I'm doing it.
Speaker 1:I'm doing this because I'm going to show up for my kids, for myself most importantly because I need to teach them that you know just, I was raised a lot differently than I've raised them. So I just want to teach them that you know the sky's the limit. You know anything is possible. When you fall, you get back up, you dust yourself off and you keep it moving. You've got to keep moving. Nobody's coming to save you. Find ways and just what worked for you and figure it out.
Speaker 2:So that's where that is pretty much. Yeah, you definitely got to teach them that. We got to remind ourselves that too, you know it's important. It's important and we go through trials. All our lives, in your 40s, 50s, 60s, you're going to go through trials. It's nothing that you're just going to surpass and all of a sudden nothing's going to happen anymore. You know like life is always going to be a challenge or a trial. Yeah, you know whether it's good or bad, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, are you ready for a break? I am, yeah, let's take a break, all righty, perfect, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back, perfect.
Speaker 1:Welcome back.
Speaker 2:Welcome back, welcome back.
Speaker 1:So this next section. I just want to talk about what I've learned.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And just kind of reflect a little bit and recap of what we just talked about.
Speaker 2:Perfect. So what I've learned that hope is just taking a deep breath and just taking a step back and just not thinking of the full picture, or just taking that moment and just surpassing the hour, or just getting through the hour exactly. Yeah, getting through that that emotional tornado that you're going through, whatever it may be, whether it's sad or mad or frustration, because I get those a lot and sometimes it is nice to just let it out, sometimes it's nice to just flip somebody off in the road and get pulled over by it yeah, you know well, not for me.
Speaker 2:I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm joking, I'm joking because of last episode, but um, but no, see that that's an example of where I should have just like just let it go, you know, but I was in the middle of a emotional roller coaster storm. Yeah, I just that. My anger just got to me, whereas I could have just taken a deep breath and, like you know what, just get through this two-minute challenge.
Speaker 1:Right. Take it in sections, it's nothing Rather than a whole.
Speaker 2:Right exactly because it could have been done. It could have been over and done within like five minutes if I had just not acted the way I did Right and hurt you. Remind yourself before you act out and make full of yourself. Just take a deep breath, step back and be like this is temporary, it's going to pass. There's always the light at the end of the tunnel. Exactly that's that hope. That hope, but I'm sorry to cut you off. What did you learn? So what tell me, erica, like what do you? What is your advice to all listeners when it comes to feeling anxiety and being alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just tell myself that when I'm feeling that way, that I'm not behind, I'm just rebuilding that moment, I'm rebuilding this new chapter, that I'm not behind, I'm just rebuilding that moment, I'm rebuilding this new chapter that I'm going through and it's going to change again. So, being adaptable and accepting where I'm at in this very moment and being able to just overcome this you know, loss of hope, I guess, guess you know that I was feeling so just just pretty much rebuilding, yeah. And I just want to close with, you know, being able to cope where you know you can do breathing techniques um, reflect self-reflect is very important and just make it very clear on what you want for your life and take it in baby steps. And journal, too. Journaling does help Listening to relaxing music, even watching a show, getting some snacks and just taking it easy take it easy and and just you know.
Speaker 2:Compliment yourself too, that you know that you part out yeah, yeah, compliment yourself that you are, that you've got it under control, um, and you can only do so much, and it's most of the time it's just you kind of overthinking and overthinking your, your, your weight on your shoulders, and it's most likely not that big of a issue. After you come out of this or whatever trial you're going through, you feel like, oh wow, that wasn't even that big of a deal. Why was I stressing or why was I worried about that trial?
Speaker 1:I just want to close with you know some techniques, a couple techniques that you can do to continue with hope and faith, and you know just things to make you feel better Just breathe, reflect and journal. You know that's, that's all we can do, and just find things or ways that will help you overcome that feeling and just know that there is hope out there. So, um, but next week I'll dive into what it means to heal in silence when no one claps for you. But you keep going and we'll end with that. So thank you all for listening. I appreciate you and we will see you next week all righty that was.
Speaker 2:That was good, erica. I loved. I love the topic of hope. I think it's, uh, something that we all forget, that there's always hope at the end of the road. Okay, there's always hope. You can't give up, okay, yeah. So let's let's take this time at the end of the, at the end of this episode, to let our listeners know what to expect and when to expect us. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Let's go yeah.
Speaker 2:Alrighty, so this is our podcast. We are going to be posting every Monday. We're going to be posting Monday. We're going to be posting every Monday for family therapy. Family therapy is just our one on one podcast where we just talk about whatever's on our mind.
Speaker 2:We just kind of just vent catching up with each other, because we hardly see each other throughout the week. Then on Thursdays you can catch our what Now series. That's our episodes where we talk a little bit more about specific topics like hope, which was this week's topic, or deeper dives into music and movies and stuff like that Specific topics and those are going to be our premium episodes. They're premium episodes every Thursday. To access those premium episodes, you can hit go to our show notes and hit support this show and then you'll be prompted to a monthly subscription. Once you get that fulfilled, you can enjoy all of our premium episodes. Oh yeah, perfect, awesome, yes.
Speaker 1:That deserves a round of applause.
Speaker 2:Yes, that does deserve a round of applause Perfect. So now that we got that cleared out of the way, let's go ahead and conclude today's episode on hope, and we will see you all next week for our next what Now? Series, which will be premium, yes, okay.
Speaker 1:Next Thursday.
Speaker 2:Next Thursday will be premium and we'll be talking about.
Speaker 1:Healing in silence.
Speaker 2:Healing in silence. Perfect, I think that's about it for today.
Speaker 1:That's it. Yeah, thank you for listening, erica.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I'll see you next week.
Speaker 1:See you next week.
Speaker 2:Alrighty, bye-bye, I'll see you next week. See you next week, alrighty, bye, bye, bye.